Hospitals Of Hope

“I will never go to Haiti” — famous last words spoken by my husband last year when our church started planning a mission trip to Haiti along with Hospitals of Hope. “It is too hot and too dangerous.” The State Department even has Haiti on its front page as a place Americans should not go to no matter what their humanitarian aspirations are. The funny thing about “never” statements is that they almost always turn into the things we will most definitely do.

After feeling a gentle urging to go and several discussions with my husband, off we went last minute to Haiti in August of this year. Our group consisted of seven of us from Wichita, Kansas and six outstanding people from around the world. I learned very quickly on the first day that, yes, it is hot there but that I can actually survive without air conditioning. I also never felt in any danger. The Haitians are a joyful and loving people. While I am sure there are dangerous areas, our translators and guides made sure we were never in any risky situations and gave freely to us from what little resources they had.

Initial misconceptions aside, I did find the need in Haiti to be almost overwhelming. In 4 medical clinics during the week we saw over 1300 patients. At times, I would look up exhausted and see that the lineof people waiting to be seen was actually growing, not waning as I had hoped. Problems very simple to treat in the US became very difficult to treat with limited resources available. What would happen to that guy with the extremely high blood pressure when he finished his month supply of medication? Where would he get his next supply of medication? Were we doing any long term good? Our team saying became “we can only do what we can do” — very simplistic but it helped us realize we were not going to solve everyone’s problems in a five minute visit. However, we could be present with them, listen, and show compassion and love. We could let them know that they are not forgotten and that there are people who care about what has happened to them. This is often a much greater “gift” than any medicine.

I also learned a few things about myself. As a physician (and a type A personality), I am used to being in control and making things happen. Here in the United States I have a whole arsenal of medications, CT scans, and specialists at my immediate disposal. I often do see people healed and get very used to being in the role of the “healer.” In Haiti I got a very big reminder of who actually is the Healer.

Toward the end of our trip, one of our team members sustained a serious head injury. We were in a very remote part of Haiti about 4-5 hours outside of Port-Au-Prince with no medical facilities nearby. All we had on hand were a few bags of IV fluid and one dose of a steroid given to us by a local OB/GYN. As I watched her condition decline, I felt a rising level of panic as I realized I could not “do” anything for her.

There was no 911 and no ambulance to take her to an emergency room where she could get a CT scan immediately. There was no neurosurgeon on call to operate if needed. I have never felt so helpless in my life. So I did the only thing I could do. I prayed. Prayed without ceasing to be exact. As the team worked on arranging to have her medically evacuated out of the country, I continued to plead with God to heal her. I told my pastor as we were leaving to start the long trip to the Port-Au-Prince airport to meet the air ambulance from the US that I have never prayed so much in my life. His statement to me was, “Well maybe that is what the whole purpose of this trip was meant to be for you.” At the time I about wanted to hit him for this statement.

Upon retrospect, however, I did see that God was teaching me a very big lesson. He was gently (well maybe not so gently) reminding me of who actually heals – and it was not me. Yes we did finally get her back to the US though the process took about 24 hours to accomplish. Yes she did get a CT scan (and a MRI) and a neurosurgeon consult. Yes she did get better but it was not from anything the doctors did at the hospital. I firmly believe that God heard the urgent pleading of one of His children and chose to heal as only He can do – completely. I came to realize that God can use doctors, testing and medications as one of the means by which He heals, but He does not “need” us. He is all powerful. Not only did I learn who really is in charge but that when all I can do is pray – that is often enough.

Thanks to Dr. Cathy Vitosh, member of the Hospitals of Hope board of directors, for this story.

Read more stories about our work in Haiti.